20th month! [:
And I..
Will never try to deny,
that you’re my whole life,
’cause if you ever let me go,
I would die..
So I won’t front,
I don’t need another woman boyfriend,
I just need your all and nothing,
’cause if I got that,
Then I’ll be straight
Baby, you’re the best part of my day
credits: http://m2mdigitalstudio.deviantart.com/art/Hug-89063411
Happy 20th Month baby. :} I love you.
<3
Fate
I think my Fate for tomorrow, or rather, today, is already confirmed. Whatever decision I make, I’m bound to “get it” anyway.
As much as I hate to say this but I think I wanna transfer schools. Even though I know it’s close to impossible. I’ve never felt so unhappy before, and it sucks.
Enuff said.
Unreasonable? Ridiculous..?
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.
Don’t read it if you think you’ll get offended.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Tell me if you think this is ridiculous. Those who’re still having papers tomorrow, have to attend Dance after their papers.
Now tell me again, if you think this is even more ridiculous. I don’t have to go to school because I have no papers, but I have to go for Dance.
Aren’t we allowed to even have a break after exams? If there’s going to be a practice on Friday, I’m fine with that, ’cause lessons are resuming as usual. But tomorrow? Unreasonable, much?
Aren’t CCAs supposed to be enjoyable?
Aren’t CCAs supposed to be a time where we take our minds off the stressful school life, where we actually have fun?
If you tell me I’m wrong, then I’ll say that I regret.
Anyway, since the beginning of last year till now, I’ve had zero CIP performances. Didn’t the club promised me when I joined, that I will be able to have CIP, etc so that when I graduate I’ll be able to graduate with an A grade for CCA? But till now, I’ve only have had like what, 6 CCA points? And I practically go for all the sessions, so I wouldn’t be losing points through lack of attendance would I.
I even have the “CCA Guidelines and Grading System” from sec one orientation. Yes, something from two years ago. Here’s what it says, word for word.
3. Dance (Modern)
(information on teachers in charge and training days skipped)The Flame Dancers, inspired by our school motto “Aflame for Truth” aims to fire up a passion for dance through training, performances and exposure to reputable dance acts. Set up in 2003, we achieved a silver award at the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging in the same year, and a bronze in 2005. Last year, some of our performances included the Commonwealth Summer School Award Ceremony, and the National Day celebration in Millenia Walk. Our current instructor, Professor Liang Jian Ping is a renowned choreographer and ex-faculty lecturer at the Beijing Dance Academy. Flame Dancers guarantees a distinction under LEAPS*.
*On the condition that the dancers follow the programme faithfully.
I think the only time I’ve enjoyed dance, was when I trained for danceworks. Maybe because the team was small, which got us really bonded (with the exception of some..), but I actually felt Happy. Come to think of it, I actually liked getting scolded by Ms Rashidah. Because her scoldings really make you want to work harder, than feel the frustration of her scolding. It feels very different, but it was a really good feeling. But what have I to say now? There’s no more Ms Rashidah, no more Hiphop, no more Danceworks,…
No more interest in dance. Or rather, lost the interest.
I joined dance, only because I enjoyed dance as an art, because I enjoy “dancing”, because I like performing. But I guess it doesn’t work that way. Not anymore. I’ve lost my passion, my interest, my everything that has to do with dance. I’m only going now not because I want to, but because I have to.
I can be flexible (splits/bridges/etc), do stunts (handstands/carwheels/front walkover), or whatever it is that makes me a good dancer, but I am nothing without passion.
Heavenly Days
Kanji
目覚ましが鸣る前に起きて 时を止める
思い出せるのはもうなんとなくだけど君の事
一亿分の君に会えた奇迹なんかも
いつの间にか忘れちゃうかな？
忘れた事さえもきっと忘れてしまうの
heavenly days
胸のポケットの部屋
君の消えたぬくもりを探すよ
もう二度と君を想うことはなくても
まだ少し暖かいあの日々に键をかけて
歩きつかれて座り込んで途方にくれて
叶わない梦『运命』とかふたりなら言えた
改札口で言えなかった言いたかった
｢ありがとう｣って言叶は多分
｢さよなら｣よりも悲しい言叶に思うの
heavenly days
うまく笑えてたかな？
最后のキスシーン震える君の手を
握れなかった涙さえ落ちなかった
一人ぽっちになり今さら溢れ出すよ
heavenly days
胸のポケットの部屋
君の消えたぬくもりを探すよ
もう二度と君を想うことはなくても
手を伸ばしてみてもここにはもう居ないよ
新しい光の下歩き出すよ
Romanji
mezamashi ga na ru mae ni oki te toki wo tomeru
omoidaseru no wa mou nantonaku da kedo kimi no koto
ichi okubou no kimi ni ae ta kiseki nanka mo
itsu no ma ni ka wasure chau ka na
wasure ta koto sae mo kitto wasure te shimau no
heavenly days
mune no poketto no heya
kimi no kie ta nukumori wo sagasu yo
mou nidoto kimi wo omou koto wa naku te mo
mada sukoshi atataka ano hibi ni kagi o kake te
aruki tsukare te suwarikon de tohou ni kure te
kanawa nai yume yu’ni toka futari nara ie ta
kaisatsu guchi de ie nakatta ii takatta
‘arigatou’tte kotoba wa tabun
’sayonara’ yori mo kanashii katoba ni omou no
heavenly days
umaku warae te ta ka na
saigo no kisusu kurueru kimi no te o
nigire nakatta namida sae ochi nakatta
hitoripocchi ni nari imasara afure dasu yo
heavenly days
mune no poketto no heya
kimi no kie ta nukumori wo sagasu yo
mou nidoto kimi wo omou koto wa nakutemo
te o nobashi te mi te mo koko ni wa mou i nai yo
atarashii hikari no shita aruki dasu yo
Translation
I turn off the time to wake up before the alarm clock ressounds
I don’t know why but I can already remember you
I wonder if, before I know it, I’ll forget
even the miracle of being able to meet you for one hundred minutes
Will I end up forgetting even that I’ve forgotten?
Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah
I’m locking up those days that are still a bit warm
Tired of walking, I sat down and was at a loss, if you were with me
We could have talked about something like our unbearable dream’s fate
I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
That I feel “Thank you” are maybe words
much sadder than “goodbye”
Heavenly days, I wonder if I could smile properly
At the scene of our last kiss, I couldn’t even
grasp your shivering hands, not even my tears fell, ah
Now that it’s too late, they overflow when I’m alone
Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you’re not here anymore
I’ll walk on under a new light
(Credits:http://joongie-ism.blogspot.com/2008/03/lyrics-heavenly-days-by-aragaki-yui.html)
-
Koizora Literature
How many silent years gone
Of gazing at the infinte sky
Seeing you smile, in light of eve
Left in me, a distant memory
How many times have I tried
To make a forlorn tear hide
Thinking of you, a caressing ray
Softly kissing my pain away
Heavenly days, in yearn of our love
Ever changing with the sky above
Azure blues, your joy everywhere
Greyish hues, I sense your despair
Bowing low, braving the cold
Seeking your tender heart to hold
Lonely nights, dreaming of you
A glistening star flying through
Left to wane, a broken heart
The sky your smile, a delicate art
No more tears, just hopes every day
For you’ve driven all sadness away
-
Met Kenneth on Saturday, had an awesome lunch + dinner, and caught Jourey to the Center of the Earth somewhere inbetween 
it’s an awesome movie, really exciting, although some parts weren’t really realistic…
Went for service on Sunday, then had lunch and headed home, caught Koizora on crunchyroll. Watched the Olympics Table Tennis Finals. Glad that we managed to even get a silver, ’cause the China competitors were obviously really strong.
Had last paper today, chinese. Oh well, bound to screw up…. :/ Headed to Kenneth’s after waiting 2 hours in school for him to wake up. Headed back to j8 after that and I got myself a new mouse for my lappy, finally.
Tomorrow? Free day. Not sure if I’m going out at all, unless I’m meeting Kenneth if he’s free. He got his driving theory test tomorrow, all the best baby, 
Guess bedtime shall be soon, I’m tired.
Time-wasting
Finally (almost) all papers are over! For once I’m happy with my combination. (Okay, not like I haven’t been, but… it’s just,… you get the idea) Left with Chinese on Monday! Which I am going to fail, I guess. My Mandarin totally CMI already, thanks.
Still, all the best to the BIO / PURE GEOG people! Or anyone else, who reads this. :]
Digressing….
I swear this video clip is a total waste of time and makes no sense but I couldn’t stop laughing while watching it. Sigh, cheap thrills.
I watched it for 3 consecutive times in a row, and still haven’t gotten bored. Don’t think I ever will! Watch it if you have 2 minutes of your life to spare. If you don’t want to waste that time, don’t watch it. I’m warning you.
-
I know I’ve been posting a lot, but… I just feel like it. Here’s a very calming song I’m listening to, lol.
Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Love of mine some day you will die
But I’ll be close behind
I’ll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
“Son fear is the heart of love”
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It’s nothing to cry about
Cause we’ll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
-
Last two papers tomorrow, Physics and Pure Lit. Mmmmm. Can’t wait for them to be over. Obtained like 1.3 gig of Hannah Montana today, just to upload it into my iPod 
I feel so bad to my lappy. Torturing eh. D: Sorry beloved tablet.
Oh well. Waiting for my 500gb harddisk, shiok.
我好想你。你知道吗？
.
You know you’ve gotten over her, so let this one be a test to know you’re really over it. Fight against your mind this time, and you’ll win. Prove yourself you can do it, Yilin.
….Can I, really?
Hey Jude.
Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
Hey jude, dont be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Hey jude, dont let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
Youre waiting for someone to perform with.
And dont you know that its just you, hey jude, youll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then youll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.
Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude…
-
Huimin knows why I posted this, don’t you Huimin?
updates :D
Chem & Amaths paper yesterday,… Zzz. PHAIL. Didn’t have enough time for chem, don’t know what I was doing man. Amaths? Screwed up my binomial theorem
Went home to slack and rest awhile, then changed and trained to Woodlands to meet Fiona Headed to causeway and had a very late lunch at mos. Was freezing by the time it ended, ’cause it was “VEH COLD LA”. (inside joke)
Went over to the library after that, cutting up and making the domokun for her. Did her chem for her, then studied, looked at ___ books and left at about 745 I think. Headed back to causeway and did random stupid things at cold storage then she sent me off at the MRT
Today, had SS and Emaths. SS, hardly studied, and it came out on ERP, the same chapter which I studied for for the previous common test. LOL. Emaths, screwed up on reciprocal and exponential functions, and didn’t know how to do for some parts oh well.
Headed to J8 to attempt to study history with Clarissa, but failed. Huimin tempted me with Sakae buffet, so joined her and Celeste after that. Ate like mad, kept ordering nonstop. Heh. Headed to J8’s rooftop after that, and then took the lift to the 10th floor. View on the 10th floor was s nicer, could see lots more things. Going to bring my cammy up there one day {: damn I feel like changing camera, nooo.
Lirary after that, to read magazines and laugh (at people oops). Was reading on the ___ in Cleo with Huimin, 
Left at about 850, then rushed home to catch Hannah Montana LOL.
History tomorrow and let’s just say I didn’t exactly study. Oh well. Source based anyway…. just have to screw up my contextual knowledge parts then. School ends at 845 tomorrow, what teh pongz, :) taaaaa.
-
Hihihi Kenneth I wanna meet you soon soon soon ‘cos I haven’t met you in ages man I wanna meet you tomorrow if possible thanks.
:O
It’s almost 1 now and I’m hungry
Had 3.5 hours tuition today, madness, but surprisingly time passed quite quickly. Oh well. I’ll do my best, even if I know I can’t do well (yet again).
Anyway I was thinking, that it’s really very sad to be a twit when you’re a teen. ‘Cause y’know, they like doing that pathetic innocent-looking smile? Imagine if they smile like that and that picture is used in their IC. Months/years down the road, they are bound to grow out of that “twitish” phase (most of them would, I guess), and at that time, they look at their ICs with regret, wishing they were never in that phase. Oh well, personal choice anyway. I’m just glad I’m not part of it.
Chem/ Amath tomorrow, wish me luck!
